Psalm 13 - An Inner Wrestle!!!
There are times in our lives when God seems so far away. When the circumstances of our lives seem overwhelming and we war with our thoughts and emotions. These are the times of our lives when our faith - be it great or small - is illuminated. When the world around us is falling apart and all we hear and experience are lies, deception and violence - the only constant in all of that confusion is God.
It is in these times that we need to hold firm to the truths about God’s character. King David was keenly aware of this, and in this short, but beautifully honest psalm he explores his faith and his feelings in a balanced way.
Psalm 13 says…
Verse 1: “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?”
I am sure that every believer in Jesus feels this way at least once in their faith journey.
When things are just falling apart or are extremely difficult to deal with - things like our health is failing (or that of loved ones), or work is becoming increasingly more difficult to get up in the morning for, or our relationships are strained.
When all about us is darkness - yeah to be honest - it’s hard to see Jesus at work in our lives and our situation.
This cry by David - this cry that we often echo - it’s not a cry of faithlessness, rather it is a cry of neediness, or wanting to hear from the author of truth and life. it is a cry that God will answer.
Verse 2: “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?”
Our own minds…they are our worst enemy. We let thoughts dictate our feelings, our actions and our behaviour towards others.
Yet much of the time what we are thinking is the truth is not anywhere close to being true. We construe a myriad of things that may happen, or what others might be thinking of us, or how a person years ago may have taken something we said out of context and perhaps they still hate us for it…and the list goes on and on.
This is even more true when we are facing significant life situations where people or events are set against us in the worst possible ways.
It is worse when we are facing opposition because we tend to ruminate (to mentally regurgitate) on events, on what people have said, and on what people have done.
This follows hot on the heals of our cries “Will this never end…will those who oppose me win, and break me?
These are legitimate questions…but we need to remember this scripture from Romans 8:31 which informs us…“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?”
Which is precisely where King David takes us to at the end of the psalm…
Verse 3-4: “Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.”
In these verses David is continuing his cry out to the Lord - he is clearly depressed about what he is going through. The darkness of his mind and the depth of his depression is threatening to overwhelm him.
For those of us who have suffered with depression, or continue to do so - this is an all too familiar feeling. We feel as if the darkness will claim us and lead to our death. We feel as if all the things that we are struggling with will consume us, and will destroy us.
It is at this point when we have expended all of our emotional and physical energy and we feel like we cannot even take another step, we cannot handle another day…
It is then that Psalm 23 truly applies. Yahweh will take us through the valley of the Shadow of Death, and will deliver us from evil, and he will bless us in the presence of our enemies. We just need to cry out to God for his help and allow HIM to lead us.
Verse 5-6: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.”
Despite his obvious depression, despite the fact that he was experiencing considerable opposition, despite it seeming like his enemies would prevail over him - King David held firm in his faith in Yahweh.
He stood firm in the knowledge that the Lord has been good to him and will continue to be good to him.
This point is exactly where we need to be - in all of our circumstances we need to acknowledge that God will be with us, that HE has already shown that HE is good to us, and will be the same into the future.
I pray that whatever the issues you are facing in your life today, be it war, be it trauma, be it addiction, be it relationship breakdowns, employment issues, financial problems, people being slanderous against you, ill health and depression - may Yahweh be with you , and may you cling to your faith in him. Continue to call out to HIM in all your seasons.