Grunge & Grey Hairs!!!

It smells like....

I was born in the mid-70s (for those under the age of 25 - that’s the 1970s), so that plants me firmly in the Gen-X camp. But, I’m not really into the whole generational war going on at the moment (that’s probably a post for another day) - however, there are real, and distinct differences between the various generations of the last 80 years or so. Those differences and distinctions are influenced by and born from the social, national and global environments that we have been exposed to.

So, for context - pre- 9/11 - Gen-Xers experienced:

• The rise of televised everything - from wars to concerts, to famines to watching the space shuttle blow up in front of you.

• Music grew rapidly with the use of walkman’s, small portable CD players etc

• The Cold War was still going on when I started high school and by the time I graduated in 1993 - the Berlin wall had fallen, Communist Russia (and communist Eastern Europe) fell.

• The first Gulf War kicked off, and swiftly ended.

• It was a life pre-internet, pre-mobile phones.

And while I was in high school my music of choice was rock and of course the ubiquitous grunge of that era. Grunge spoke to us (and still does to a point), because it spoke of a hard life, and harder times dealing with that life. It spoke of dreams, and a life well lived. It spoke of broken dreams and the heartache of adulthood.

But, we were young then…

Now…now we are not.

The youngest of Gen-X are in their mid-40s, whilst the oldest are heading rapidly into their mid-60’s. And it seems an odd juxtaposition to see people with greying hair chilling out to the sounds of music they listened to decades earlier…the eery, grating tones of grunge - and the songs still speak.

But they say different things now, than they did back then.

Now, we listen to the songs with filtered hearts…hearts that have lived, loved and lost along the way.

We grey hairs look back and the youthful plans and dreams we had seem so distant now, like a scene of some long forgotten movie. They once seemed so real and vibrant…now…now they all but seem impossible and fade into the sands of time with each passing day.

In those decades since the heady days in high school where optimism coursed through our veins we have had a multitude of doors slammed shut in our faces. Or…or we, through our own fallibilities and mistakes - have merely walked past the doors that would have opened to us. Now, decades of disappointments pile up upon each other, like rocks in a quarry. The weight of a litany of failures hangs heavy on our shoulders.

So, Life…well life is not what we expected it to be. It never lived up to the haughty expectations and the Disney’esque dreams we held captive in our minds.

Now we exist…living with our greying hair, our aching bodies and oh how our strength leaves us so readily. Life is difficult, so much so that the first battle we face is with our bodies in the morning. We find that we cannot do the things we once loved to do. And to attempt them again, for old time sake - well that ends up being stuck in bed and handfuls of painkillers.

And so we question…we question like we did in high school, and all that angsty teen rebellion. We question the system, we question ourselves, we question who we are, what we do, and why we do it. We ask ourselves are we doing enough? Is it good enough? Have we even achieved anything in our lives?

Is everything we searched for, worked for…has it been worth it?

But as Christians, this mid life upheaval, what does it mean for us?

Well to be honest, the Bible actually says a lot about this…because the Bible speaks to life and life’s experiences directly. And I truly think that King David would have enjoyed the hard rock, and grunge musical styles - given what he often writes about.

But let’s read Psalm 88, which was written by the Sons of Korah (and no not the modern worship group)…

Psalm 88

For the choir director: A psalm of the descendants of Korah. A song to be sung to the tune “The Suffering of Affliction.” A psalm of Heman the Ezrahite.

1 O Lord, God of my salvation,
    I cry out to you by day.
    I come to you at night.
2 Now hear my prayer;
    listen to my cry.
3 For my life is full of troubles,
    and death draws near.
4 I am as good as dead,
    like a strong man with no strength left.
5 They have left me among the dead,
    and I lie like a corpse in a grave.
I am forgotten,
    cut off from your care.
6 You have thrown me into the lowest pit,
    into the darkest depths.
7 Your anger weighs me down;
    with wave after wave you have engulfed me. Interlude
8 You have driven my friends away
    by making me repulsive to them.
I am in a trap with no way of escape.
9     My eyes are blinded by my tears.
Each day I beg for your help, O Lord;
    I lift my hands to you for mercy.
10 Are your wonderful deeds of any use to the dead?
    Do the dead rise up and praise you? Interlude
11 Can those in the grave declare your unfailing love?
    Can they proclaim your faithfulness in the place of destruction?
12 Can the darkness speak of your wonderful deeds?
    Can anyone in the land of forgetfulness talk about your righteousness?
13 O Lord, I cry out to you.
    I will keep on pleading day by day.
14 O Lord, why do you reject me?
    Why do you turn your face from me?
15 I have been sick and close to death since my youth.
    I stand helpless and desperate before your terrors.
16 Your fierce anger has overwhelmed me.
    Your terrors have paralyzed me.
17 They swirl around me like floodwaters all day long.
    They have engulfed me completely.
18 You have taken away my companions and loved ones.
    Darkness is my closest friend.
(NLT)

You read this psalm, and if you are in my generation, you can hear the lead singers of bands like Nirvana, Sound Garden, Smashing Pumpkins, Pearl Jam and Bush, belting out these words to a dirge-like tune. Even the last five words of the psalm “Darkness is my closest friend” are echoed in the lyrics of Simon & Garfunkle’s song “Sound of Silence” (which if you are a music aficionado has been excellently covered by the band ‘Disturbed’ (not that I support the rest of their music though). But, unlike the words of the songs of those bands - this psalm is part of the written word of God, and it will speak louder and deeper than any song from our childhood.

You read the words in this psalm and it resonates and echoes deep within your soul.

The message is clear… “Life sucks…and it sucks hard…BUT THEN GOD!!!”

So, here are a few other scriptures that should warn and encourage us - whether you are under the age of 30, or well above it. The word of God is for all, unlike people’s tastes in music, so it will speak to you at any stage of your journey in your faith.

Ecclesiastes 12:1 “Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honour him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.”

When we are young all of us get caught up in the hunt for our future, for the search for our dreams - and in that pursuit of happiness and meaning we often forget the very ONE who is the author of our purpose and life. To honour God in the good times will help us when we are living through the struggle of life when we have more responsibilities and carry greater weights. it is almost impossible to hold on to God in the hard times, if you refuse to hold onto HIM and acknowledge HIM during the times of plenty and ease. This is a lesson for the young and the more mature of us to learn.

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 “Anything I wanted, I would take. I denied myself no pleasure. I even found great pleasure in hard work, a reward for all my labors. But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere.”

In our youth we chase what feels good, looks good, is exciting and engages with our senses - whether it is good for us or not. Then as we move into our adult years, we tend to pour ourselves into our work and our careers we are trying to build, and our identity often is grounded in what we do, rather than who we are as a person. Then comes a time in our lives when we look back on all that and come to the very same conclusion as the writer of Ecclesiastes - “In the end it is all meaningless - a chasing of the wind”. Why is it meaningless though? Isn’t working hard a biblical concept? - yes it is, but chasing it for the wrong reasons is unbiblical.

But in the end, when our life flickers out - all that matters is our relationship with God, and what we have done for HIS kingdom. All the overtime, all the degrees and qualifications, all the promotions - ARE MEANINGLESS!!! And this becomes the problem for those of us who are rapidly advancing in years. We are often stuck in jobs that we are good at, but no longer enjoy, we don’t see the point of it anymore, and then we wonder if we have done enough for the Lord.

Proverbs 20:29 “The glory of the young is their strength; the grey hair of experience is the splendour of the old.”

But here’s the kicker…as you age you gather experiences and you gather wisdom. You gather it from the plethora of failures and victories you experience each and every year you walk this earth. Older people when you’re doing things (work, family or church), don’t focus on the strength or energy you have lost - it’s not coming back - rather focus on using your experience to equip and empower the youngsters to use their energy and strength to get things done. Be there for them. In that way you add purpose in your life, and you add value to the generations who are following in your footsteps. Grow old with pride, grow old with purpose.

Proverbs 16:9 informs us that… “The mind of a person plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”

When we are younger we have this list of things we want to experience and achieve. We have these paths we want to tread. But if we are truly following God, and being obedient to HIM - well we often don’t end up on the path we wanted - nor do we get what our dreams were. More often than not, God will pull us kicking and screaming away from what our ‘desires’ are into what HIS will for us is.

God will direct your steps - but it’s your decision on how many step and what sort of winding road it takes to get there. Acknowledging that fact sooner rather than later is going to help you in the long run, and it will decrease the amount of negative reflection you will put yourself through as you get older and start to realise that some of the dreams and purpose you thought you wanted in life - well they might not actually be God’s plan for you in the long run - and realising that means a period of grief, and mourning for the loss of your dreams, and the realignment of your heart to that of the will of God.

Lamentations 3:21-24 “Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!"

So here we are…questioning every little aspect of our own existence. Questioning life itself. And questioning have we left an impact on this world. We question whether all the struggle, the turmoil, the pain, the trauma and the effort, is worth it. And if we consider the verses from Ecclesiastes mentioned above, well the answer is morbid and saddening - “No…not it’s not worth it”.

But…But God….

But God’s love never fails…

But God’s faithfulness never ends…

But God’s mercies are renewed each and every day…

But God is our hope…and always will be!!!

So, I leave you with this…

If you are someone who, like me, is rapidly moving through life - regain your purpose in God and not the chasing of the wind of our desires and dreams - and life will be meaningful. God will make a way for us, trust HIM and trust HIS process, don’t try to force the issue. And if you are younger, then I pray that God grants you an ear for the wisdom that those who have travelled the same road before you - may you learn from their mistakes and their victories.

I pray that if you are in a season of turmoil, of upheaval and of questioning that you keep taking it to God, and ask that HE show you HIS will for your life. May you be blessed, encourage and strengthened as you move Through that season of your life.